Second Chapters; How I Reinvented Myself In The Second Chapter Of My Life

An Interview With Wanda Malhotra

May 2, 2024

 

I wish someone had told me that getting a novel published does not happen the way it is portrayed in the movies.

Many successful people reinvented themselves in a later period in their lives. Jeff Bezos worked on Wall Street before he reinvented himself and started Amazon. Sara Blakely sold office supplies before she started Spanx. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was a WWE wrestler before he became a successful actor and filmmaker. Arnold Schwarzenegger went from a bodybuilder, to an actor to a Governor. McDonald’s founder Ray Kroc was a milkshake-device salesman before starting the McDonalds franchise in his 50s.

How does one reinvent themselves? What hurdles have to be overcome to take life in a new direction? How do you overcome those challenges? How do you ignore the naysayers? How do you push through the paralyzing fear?

In this series called “Second Chapters; How I Reinvented Myself In The Second Chapter Of My Life “ we are interviewing successful people who reinvented themselves in a second chapter in life, to share their story and help empower others.

As a part of this interview series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Rabbi Dr. Jo David.

Rabbi Dr. Jo David has been a female Rabbi in New York since 1992 and recently reinvented herself as Nola Saint James, a Regency Romance writer — scandal? Let’s let the readers decide! Her first book, Anarchy at Almacks, will be released next month. Nola Saint James is dedicated to creating characters who leap off the page and nuzzle into the reader’s heart. At an early age, Nola realized that an hour (or more) curled up in a comfy chair with a well-written book is the best stress reliever in the world. Especially if good vanquishes evil, the heroine and hero get their happy ending and there is a plate of scones and a cup of tea nearby.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?

Myparents named me after one of American literature’s most iconic literary figures, Little Women’s Jo March. When I was born, they bought me a “Jo” doll. She still watches over me from a shelf in my writing sanctuary. At the age of three, they put me in front of an old Remington typewriter and took a photo. I look very happy to be there. That photo is on my desk. The die was cast. I was going to be a writer.

I grew up in Brooklyn in a Russian-Jewish immigrant neighborhood in the 1950s and 60s. We lived in a two-family house with my immigrant grandparents who had come from Ukraine in the early 1920s and had made a good life for themselves and my mother. My father was from a German-Jewish family that had been here since the mid-1800s. He grew up in Washington Heights, in Manhattan. Both my parents saw themselves as part of a larger world beyond the Jewish community.

I was very close to my maternal grandparents. As a young woman, I was inspired by the story of how they came to America. Things were terrible in “Russia,” as they always called the Ukraine.

My grandfather was from a small rural town. He was an idealistic communist and joined the Red Army. When he met my grandmother, she said to him, “Sam, you give your boots to your men and the senior officers steal the boots for themselves. This isn’t true communism. We’re going to America.” My grandparents got married and my grandfather was given leave to have a short honeymoon. He, my grandmother and my grandfather’s entire family left for what was supposed to be a short vacation.

As I grew up, I began to understand the parts of the story that my grandparents didn’t tell me — their struggles, their longing for home and for family left behind. I developed the idea that I needed to live my life in a way that would justify their courage and determination to seek a better life. My parents, although not ritually religious Jews, were philosophically and culturally Jewish. They taught me that life is a precious gift, and that it’s important to live in a way that expresses appreciation.

This summer, I had the opportunity to take part in a rabbinic mission to Poland. We brought a Torah Scroll from America to give to representatives of the Ukrainian Jewish community in Poland.

I choked back tears as I transferred the Scroll to its new owners and said, “My grandparents came to America from Ukraine in the early 1920s. They could never have imagined that 100 years later, their granddaughter — a rabbi! — would bring a Torah Scroll from America to the Ukrainian Jewish Community.” This experience was, without a doubt, the high point of my rabbinic career.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

I was in my early twenties when I first came across the feminist slogan, “The personal is political.” It galvanized me. Coming of age in the early 1970s was extremely difficult for most women. I felt helpless and victimized. Once I entered the workforce, I experienced a great deal of sexual harassment. Nothing in my life had prepared me to cope with that.

“The personal is political” helped me believe that I didn’t have to be a victim. I could make choices. Perhaps even more important, the choices that I made could help to change the world. How one lives can make a difference.

From that point on, I have worked to model ethical behavior and kind and loving actions. Sometimes, we think that our actions aren’t important because they are not carried out on a big stage. There’s a Jewish saying, “To save a life is to save a world.”

You have been blessed with much success. In your opinion, what are the top three qualities that you possess that have helped you accomplish so much?

There is a saying, which has several variations, that 90% of success is just showing up. I started working when I was 20. I had dropped out of college, gotten married, had a son, and was in the process of getting a divorce. I had to work to support us both. I understood making enough money to do that was going to be a challenge. I didn’t have a college degree or much work experience. I realized what I might have to offer an employer was reliability. That quality went a long way in my early work years towards helping me build a career. Someone who is reliable and always gives more than is asked for is a valuable person in the work world and in the community.

My father was a wonderful writer. He instilled in me and my brother a deep love of literature and of the skillful production of the written word. My parents read to us all the time. My father encouraged me to memorize poetry — also the starting lineup of the Brooklyn Dodgers! When the Mets were formed, our family became steadfast Mets fans. We had Sunday box seats at Shea Stadium until the very last season the Mets played there.

I loved having my parents read to me, and once I was able to read myself, I just never stopped. When I was nine, I saw a movie on television about nuns. That movie inspired me to think about what it would be like to have a life devoted to the service of God. After I saw that movie, whenever I could, I would go to our local library, find a place to sit, and read every book about nuns that I could find. As a nice Jewish girl, I knew that I couldn’t be a nun, but I was stimulated by the spiritual implications of living a life of service.

Love of reading and the idea that books could transform one’s life was fundamental to my development. As I was growing up, I was told a girl had limited options in life. Both my parents believed that. Reading opened up worlds and ideas that excited me. Before the woman’s movement, reading radicalized me. What I found when I was reading about nuns, was that the world was bigger than the world of my small Brooklyn community. I knew that I had to be part of that bigger world, even if it meant doing things that girls didn’t do. Perhaps especially if it meant doing things girls didn’t do.

My parents were Anglophiles. If it was English, especially of the Victorian era or even the earlier Regency era, it was, by definition, wonderful. I have fond memories of my father reading “A Christmas Carol” to us, and of my mother making roast beef and Yorkshire pudding. We spent many family celebrations at restaurants in New York having tea with tea sandwiches and scones because, for my parents, enjoying a proper tea in a beautiful setting was about as English as one could get on this side of the Atlantic.

My mother loved to entertain and she did it very elegantly. In our home, there was a “right way” to do things, especially when it came to food. The preparation of food, the serving of food and the enjoying of food were extremely important in our family.

There’s a Jewish teaching about saying a prayer before eating. Taking the time to do so elevates eating from satisfying a physical need to an act that is sacred. My mother was not a ritually religious woman. However, for her, the preparation, serving and enjoyment of food was a spiritual undertaking.

She was modeling what today we would call “intentional living.” It is a lesson that became very important to me. When we take time to consider small, everyday actions and raise them to a level of high importance, we find great emotional and spiritual rewards. There’s a saying, “It’s the little things that count.”

Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion about ‘Second Chapters’. Can you tell our readers about your career experience before your Second Chapter?

My first chapter had a prologue. The prologue was titled, “I’m a Single Mother. How Do I Climb the Ladder to Success as Quickly as Possible?”

By the time that I was 21, I had dropped out of college, been married, had given birth to a son, and was divorced. I was a strong writer, I spoke well, and I was comfortable with all types of people. My father was in advertising, and I knew something about that world. I thought I could probably build a career in advertising with the skills I had.

I also had an insight. It was the early 1970s. Then, as now, getting a job in advertising and moving up through the ranks was competitive. Women generally worked in consumer products. I decided that working on non-consumer products, where I might be the only woman in the room, would help me to be noticed. I was right. End of Prologue.

Chapter One — Becoming a Rabbi.

After about eight years of working for other people, I opened my own marketing firm in San Francisco. I had never lived outside of New York. San Francisco was a revelation. I liked it, but it felt small compared to New York. I was beginning to feel that spending my life selling non-essential products was not what I should be doing with my life. I was not improving the world through my work. This was becoming very important to me. In addition, I felt cut off from the Jewish vibe of New York, even though I wasn’t particularly religious.

It seemed like a good idea to connect with the Jewish community in San Francisco.

I made a commitment to myself to attend Saturday morning services for at least a few months. I chose a Reform synagogue because I thought that I would be most comfortable with a service in English. Much to my surprise, even though most of the service was in English, I didn’t really understand what was going on.

Remember my dedication to showing up? I was committed to at least two months of synagogue attendance, but I found I was both confused and bored when I went to synagogue each week. In desperation, I decided to try to figure out what was going on in the service by applying my marketing knowledge.

Each week I would sit in the pew and dissect the service, piece by piece. After a while, I found myself thinking, “If the rabbi did x, y or z, this particular part of the service would make more sense.” I began to listen more closely to the rabbi’s sermons. I found myself thinking, “That’s interesting, but if I was giving that sermon, I would say …” Ultimately, I had the thought, “This is interesting but I could do it better …” and then, “Being a rabbi is marketing but with religion as the product.” Would I like to be a rabbi?”

The idea of becoming a rabbi was very confusing. It was a totally foreign concept. At the time, I was thinking about making a career change. I thought about becoming a therapist. I owned an Arabian gelding and the idea of going back to school and learning to raise and breed horses was very interesting to me. Becoming a rabbi was nowhere on my list.

There were few female rabbinic role models. The first female rabbi in America had been ordained in 1972, about nine years before. I didn’t know any of the women who had graduated since then. I really thought it would be fun to work with horses.

One day, coming home after work, I had a moment of clear revelation. I was going to become a rabbi! How this was going to happen was not clear. I was certain that it was going to happen. All I had to do was agree to follow wherever that path led.

I thought of my nine-year-old self reading stories about nuns and being entranced by a life spent in service to God. I knew that selling packaged goods was no longer the life for me. Even though I didn’t know one letter of Hebrew and had very little Jewish education, I could do this. Even more important, I realized, surprised, that I wanted to do this.

The next day, I found a Hebrew primer and began to teach myself the Hebrew alphabet. That was the beginning of the real first chapter of my life. I was ordained in 1992. From the moment that I began to figure out what I needed to do to become a rabbi, I had a soul-deep knowledge that I was on the right path. I have loved every minute of that journey.

And how did you “reinvent yourself” in your Second Chapter?

Being a rabbi is wonderful. That being said, I have always wanted to support myself by writing fiction. I have had a few non-fiction books, articles and poems published. The problem with writing fiction was that I could never focus for long enough to produce a novel. Every once in a while, I would try without success. All my life I’ve kept notebooks filled with story ideas.

Fifteen years ago, I finally produced a novel. I was unable to get it published, although I worked on doing so for more than two years.

About six years ago, I was spending a summer weekend with some friends. One of them, James W. Gaynor, had been a book, magazine and newspaper editor. I had never discussed my novel with him because I was afraid that it wasn’t good enough. After all, no one had been interested, despite my best efforts to market it. To be rejected by nameless, faceless unknown people is one thing. To be told by a friend that your work is no good would be humiliating. A little voice in my head said, “Tell Jim about the novel.”

One of the things that I’ve learned in my life is that when those little voices speak to you, urging you to go beyond your comfort zone, as long as they’re not suggesting you jump off a roof, you listen. Over the course of my rabbinic career, I also learned that saying “yes” to new opportunities makes one’s life richer. Sometimes better. Always more interesting.

That day in San Francisco when I knew I was going to be a rabbi, as improbable as it seemed, I listened. That summer day, six years ago, although it terrified me, I said to my friend, “I have something to tell you that I’ve never told you. I write romance novels. I have a novel. Would you read it and tell me what you think?” I was so scared and I felt so vulnerable revealing my secret.

A week later, my friend called and told me that he loved the book, and that he thought it was publishable. I had taken the risk and it had paid off. Someone who “knew,” was telling me that my work was good. It was enough validation to make me feel that I could begin to focus on making my lifelong dream come true.

Jim had written and had published a lovely book titled, “Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice in 61 Haiku. He was planning a second edition. Since I was writing Regency Romance, he invited me, as Nola, to write an introduction to the new edition. I love this book and was so honored to be invited to have Nola’s initial foray into print be associated with it. Seeing Nola’s name in print gave me a tremendous boost to continue writing Regency Romance novels. A friend of Jim’s, who owns a highly respected literary agency, agreed to look at my work. That was the beginning of my Second Chapter.

Can you tell us about the specific trigger that made you decide that you were going to “take the plunge” and make your huge transition?

On 9/11, I was sitting in my apartment in uptown Manhattan watching the morning news when the first tower fell. The next day, I couldn’t concentrate, couldn’t work, could hardly move. I was eventually diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSS.) It took me eight years to put my life back together.

As people who suffer from PTSS know, accepting that one can’t recover the past can take a long time. I was surprised to discover, during my recovery, that PTSS could also deliver some new opportunities. The most significant for me, was that my problem with writing long fiction disappeared.

One night I had a vivid, lengthy dream about a man who could turn into a raven. When I woke up, I immediately wrote down everything I could remember. That was the beginning of the first novel I wrote, The Curse of the Ravenscrofft Brides, which was the manuscript I showed to Jim.

After reading it, he encouraged me to write the second book in the series. By the time I finished writing The Evil Earl, I felt that I had officially launched my new career as a writer of Regency Romances.

What did you do to discover that you had a new skillset inside of you that you haven’t been maximizing? How did you find that and how did you ultimately overcome the barriers to help manifest those powers?

When you get paid to produce advertising copy, sales promotion material, marketing proposals, press releases, speeches, radio advertising, film scripts and articles about everything from wine to roofing shingles, you learn to write quickly. As a congregational rabbi, I produced a 20-minute sermon every week for many years. As a novelist, I discovered that writing required somewhat different skills.

Every fiction writer has a unique creative strategy. There is a great deal of discussion among writers about whether one plots one’s story meticulously or begins with a general idea about what is going to happen and lets the story reveal itself. I knew nothing about this. The basic plot for The Ravenscrofft Brides was presented to me in a dream, and I had a good idea of the beginning and the end. I just started writing and found that, for the most part, the details presented themselves to me. It felt like being told a story. My job was to write it down.

A full-length romance novel runs somewhere between 50,000 and 100,000 words. If one wants to be prolific, one has to figure out how to produce at least two books a year. If I were in my 30s, I wouldn’t worry about this. I would assume that I had many years ahead of me. As a “senior citizen,” I know that it’s unlikely that I will have 30 or 40 productive years ahead of me — although one can hope. I often feel Andrew Marvell’s “time’s winged chariot” as a very real presence in my life. I have many stories that I want to tell.

I started by keeping a writing diary. Every morning, I would sit down at my computer at about the same time, note my starting time in my diary, note where in the story I was beginning (the word count) and then I would write. My goal was 2,000 words or two hours of writing. At the end of each writing session, I would write down the time I stopped and the word count. I noticed my patterns. Some days I could write 3,000 words in two hours, but the next day I might only write 1,500 in two hours.

My goal was to write six days a week. I realized if I could write an average of 2,000 words a day, I could write 12,000 words a week. That meant that I could produce the first draft of a novel in eight to nine weeks. Giving myself time off for holidays, situational life interruptions and the time necessary for editing, I thought that I would be able to produce three books a year. Learning to stick to that kind of schedule has been a work in progress. Besides keeping my writing diary, I keep a writing process journal. In it, I record techniques that I discover to make my writing better, more efficient and more fluent.

I also keep in mind people in their 90s who were or are still active and creative. I greatly admire Dr. Ruth Westheimer. At 95, she’s still going strong. In November, 2023, Dr. Westheimer was appointed by New York’s governor, Kathy Hochul as the state’s honorary ambassador to loneliness. Dr. Westheimer pitched the idea herself to the Governor.

How are things going with this new initiative? We would love to hear some specific examples or stories.

I’m living my dream. I love writing Regency Romance novels. I spend a good part of each day inhabiting the Regency world that I constructed as a backdrop for my characters. It’s a place where all things are possible and joy reigns. I sign all my books, “Everyone deserves a happy ending.”

I saw a posting on Facebook that said that fiction writers are people with way too many imaginary friends. I think that this is true, but in a good way. My stories feel like plays to me. My characters walk onto the stage of my imagination and say their lines. I write those lines down, tweaking them when necessary. By the end of the third act, I have an entire book. It’s a thrilling way to live and I feel extremely grateful to have the time to engage in this activity.

Since writing my first novel, I have completed the Ravenscrofft trilogy, started a new, related trilogy — The Edanmore Chronicles — and have written a Regency Christmas novel that will be available for this coming holiday season. I also have notes for five more books on which I will be working in the coming year. In addition, I launched a website — The Regency World of Nola Saint James — and established a social media presence on Instagram and Facebook for Nola. I feel like I’m living the life I was always meant to live.

Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

Writing has always been a solitary endeavor for me. Since I began working with my friend Jim Gaynor, I have discovered that it actually takes many hands to birth a novel.

Jim has had many different careers. Most recently he was Global Verbal Identity Leader at EY (Ernst &Young.) Jim and I possess very different, but very complementary skill sets. I’ve known him for more than 30 years, but it’s only in the last ten years or so that we began to realize how working together might be beneficial to us both.

When Jim and I began to work on editing Anarchy at Almacks, the first book in the Edanmore Chronicles — which will be in stores in late April — he suggested that we read the text to one another, making changes as we went along.

I was a little resistant. Anarchy is a shorter novel — about 55,000 words — but the time needed to do a proper close reading aloud is considerable. The thing about working with Jim, is that part of the deal is going along with his program — 99 times out of 100 — he’s right. Over the years, I’ve learned to present my point of view if I disagree with him. When I do so, he listens. Sometimes we negotiate. This is the most amazing creative partnership and process that I’ve ever experienced.

There’s a line in Laurie King’s wonderful novel, The Beekeeper’s Apprentice, when Sherlock Holmes, in his mid-50s, meets the 15 year-old woman who is to become his apprentice and, eventually, his wife. He realizes the scope of her abilities and he says to himself, perhaps in wonder, “Twenty years ago …even ten. But here? Now?”

That’s how I feel about my collaboration with Jim. It’s a marvelous, unexpected surprise to discover, in the second chapter of my life, that there can be so much energy, creativity, productivity, new experiences and joy. Had this happened when I was in my 30s or 40s, I would have taken it for granted. At this stage of my life, it feels like a miracle, a true gift. I wake up every day excited to go to work. I feel like all the skills I’ve developed during my life have come together, making this new chapter in my life not only possible, but rich and deeply fulfilling.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started in this new direction?

Last spring, Jim and I were waiting to hear from the agency to whom we’d submitted the two Ravenscrofft novels. I was on an emotional rollercoaster. Every time Jim called me, I thought that it was either to tell me “yes” the agency was signing me or “no,” they weren’t. I was a wreck. After eight weeks of this, Jim called me with an insight — he and I share a lot of insights.)

“It’s not about books,” he said.

“What’s not about books?” I asked.

“The writing. It’s not about books.”

I had no idea what he meant, so I asked him to be more specific.

“Nola is about much more than books,” he said. “It’s like Goop, Gwyneth Paltrow’s website, and Martha Stewart.”

Jim had told me a funny story about meeting Martha Stewart early in her career when she was creating recipes for Cuisinart and Jim was Cuisinart’s top demonstrator. Martha, like many of her contemporaries, could have remained in recipe development, but she had a broad vision that took her to international fame. Gwyneth Paltrow has done the same with her platform. He was suggesting that the Regency Romance field had a much greater scope to be explored. In addition to books, we should take a leap of faith and explore that unchartered territory.

I remember thinking, “Sit on the couch and wait for a phone call to determine the course of my remaining years, or take my future in my hands and create something that doesn’t yet exist?”

There was really no choice. I didn’t know where the money was going to come from for this undertaking, but I know that there is always a way.

“Yes! Absolutely!” I said.

The very next day we began putting together our marketing team. The Regency World of Nola Saint James is up and running. It features, among other things, a link to buy the new edition of Pride and Prejudice in 61 Haiku with my introduction, three blogs about scones and stories about Regency fashion, jewelry, travel and entertaining in the 21st century. We are planning what we call “website 2.0” which will feature interviews with people involved in all things Regency, and many other ways of interacting with the Regency era today.

Did you ever struggle with believing in yourself? If so, how did you overcome that limiting belief about yourself? Can you share a story or example?

People who create things struggle with warring feelings of “I can’t believe I brought this fabulous thing into being” and “What if what I have created is terrible and if I share it with anyone, I’ll be humiliated.” It is extremely difficult to validate one’s self. To share one’s creation with another person, even someone very close and trusted, is an act of real courage.

When I was struggling with recovering from PTSS, my therapist encouraged me to be more loving and forgiving to myself for things I believed were “wrong” with me. No one had ever suggested to me that I might validate myself and not worry about the judgements of others. It was an extremely empowering realization.

When I took the risk of showing my Regency Romance manuscript to Jim, I was trembling. He is a professional writer and artist, someone who “knows” what is good and what is not. If he didn’t like my story, I would be devastated.

I was able to take the risk for two reasons. First, I knew that if he thought my work was trash, he would tell me in a way that wouldn’t hurt me. In fact, if there was any way to make it good, I knew that he would help me.

Second, I knew that if I really wanted to be a novelist, I had to “walk the walk.” I could never achieve my goal if I didn’t let anyone read my stories. It wasn’t enough for me to write novels that never saw the light of day. I wanted to share my work with the world. I hoped that I could write stories that readers would enjoy and create characters that they would love. I had to act. It wasn’t so much that I had to face my fears; I just had to move forward, doing the things that one needs to do if one is to be successful. I couldn’t worry about other peoples’ opinions or judgements. I needed to keep trying, learning, doing better and better.

In my own work I usually encourage my clients to ask for support before they embark on something new. How did you create your support system before you moved to your new chapter?

I’m very fortunate in this regard. I’ve been married to my husband for more than 40 years. We first met when we were in middle school. When we were planning to marry, we agreed that we would support one another’s efforts to build a life that was personally meaningful. That does not make for the easiest marriage, but it has been worth the work. Neil has always encouraged me and supported me in my writing.

Ever since Jim read my first novel, he has been at my side. During the last year or so, we decided to start each day by reciting a prayer that I wrote for the heroine of Anarchy at Almacks.

He calls me or I call him in the morning and we say this prayer in Hebrew. It asks for clear vision, wisdom and strength in order to do good work in the world.

About nine years ago, I organized an interfaith graduate-level seminar on the Bible as Literature at the behest of a woman who had always wanted to study text. We continue to meet most Monday evenings and we delve into both the Hebrew Bible and the New Testament. I derive a great deal of encouragement and support from the members of this group, as well as from my nuclear family.

Starting a new chapter usually means getting out of your comfort zone, how did you do that? Can you share a story or example of that?

From the very beginning of my journey to become a Regency Romance novelist, my family and friends all asked the same question in a variety of ways. The bottom line was, “What will happen when readers find out that these books are written by a rabbi?”

I have never felt that this was a problem. I think that a good story is a good story, no matter who wrote it. On the other hand, I feel that a writer of historical romance should have a name suited to that genre. I spent several years trying to find the right persona for who I am as a writer in Regency period. Some of the names were very silly. For a short time, I was sure that I should write under the name Hope Diamond. Jim disabused me of this idea. He said it would be a good name for a stripper!

When I hit on the name “Nola Saint James,” it felt right. I could visualize myself walking up to people and introducing myself as Nola. It has an aspirational feeling that like. I knew that Nola would be warm and friendly — as I am, but that her presentation with respect to fashion would be very different. In my parallel life as a rabbi and academic, I dress in a tailored way, I wear almost no jewelry and only a little lipstick. Nola, however, wears vintage jewelry, Hermès vintage scarves and elegant makeup. Nola Saint James has a very different life than I do.

As a young woman, working my way up the ladder in marketing, I learned the value of creating a different persona in order to achieve a specific goal. I was out of work and, in order to support myself, I took a job as a waitress. That job was a drastic contrast to how I saw my “professional” self. I was very depressed. One day, it occurred to me that if I didn’t have to go into work as “me,” I’d be happier. I invented the character of “Tilly the Waitress.”

Tilly dressed appropriately, but her makeup was a little different from mine and, more important, she loved being a waitress. She was good at it and she took pride in it.

Before going to work, I would put on Tilly’s makeup and think about her inner life. Tilly would walk out of my apartment, do her shift happily and productively and come home. I was no longer depressed. I didn’t introduce myself as Tilly, but I knew that I was Tilly during that time I was going to work and coming home from work. Once I was home and I had taken off Tilly’s makeup, I was my professionally aspiring self again.

I eventually got another marketing job and left waitressing behind. I retired Tilly, but I never forgot her. I couldn’t have created her if Tilly’s persona was not part of me. It was helpful to understand that I had within me aspects of many other personalities and abilities that could be a source of emotional strength and creativity.

When I write, Nola is completely in charge. She is very disciplined and she loves to write. It is truly lovely spending time with her.

What are your “5 things I wish someone told me before I started” and why?

1 . I wish someone had told me that getting a novel published does not happen the way it is portrayed in the movies.

I have had some non-fiction books published. In each case, an agent approached me with an assignment, I was paid, and I did the work. There was some re-writing and a few glitches, but ultimately I held the books in my hand. The process was relatively easy. Getting a novel published has proved to be quite a different story

Once Jim and I started to work together, I came to appreciate the importance of the editing process. I learned how much better a book becomes when a writer works with a really good editor. It was a revelation.

2 . Read everything you write aloud to another person — from a novel to a recipe.

Initially, I was reluctant to do this. It seemed like it would be a very long and drawn-out process. Once I’ve written a book, I want to see it in print immediately. A protracted editing process, which I had never experienced before, was initially difficult for me. However, I realized, as we worked together, how much my writing improved and how the story came to life in a new and different way. In addition, reading aloud is really important these days, since audiobooks are an important aspect of a book’s life cycle.

3 . Take a break from writing every 60 to 90 minutes.

When I was writing The Reluctant Countess, a full-length novel that runs about 100,000 words, I tended to write for 3 hours at a stretch. About half-way through, I began to experience extremely sharp pains in my upper thigh. I spoke to my acupuncturist, who suggested that the pains might be a result of sitting for too long without a break. She gave me a treatment, which helped a great deal, and told me to get away from the computer and stretch every 60 to 90 minutes. I followed her advice and have not had a problem since.

4 . Don’t worry about what anyone thinks about your work but listen to your editor.

It’s difficult, as a creative person, not to crave outside validation. I believe that one’s best work results from a deeply personal vision. Seek your truth and stick with it. This doesn’t mean that you won’t have to “kill some of your darlings” in order to get your book to market. That phrase refers to the editing process. As a creator, one loves every word and phrase. A good editor will tell you when a dearly beloved scene, character, phrase, needs to go.

5 . There are many different ways to get your story out into the world.

At the end of Little Women, the movie with Katherine Hepburn as Jo, Professor Bhaer, her love interest, shows up at her door — in a rainstorm — with a paper-wrapped parcel for her. It is the published book of a manuscript that she had sent to him for his input. The Professor explains that he had liked the manuscript and had given it to his friend, a publisher, who published it. “He has very high hopes for it,” Professor Bhaer says. I cry every time I see that scene.

But books don’t get published that way, especially not today. It would be nice, but, as a friend of mine says, “it’s a story.”

Today, there are many different ways to send your writing out into the world. If a traditional publisher is not interested, that’s not the end of one’s career. I think it is very important for writers to educate themselves about many different options — small presses, serialization, various on-line options, self-publishing and other possibilities. Learning about marketing, publicity and social media is essential. Even if one is traditionally published, a great deal of the promotional work will be in the author’s hands.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?

The most soul-deadening thing that can happen to a person is to be told that because of something beyond their control — gender, sexual preference, age, height, skin color, race, religion, class or wealth — they can’t achieve their dreams. As a woman, I have had to fight against misogyny and negative societal attitudes my entire life. I would love to see a movement dedicated to guaranteeing that each person has the opportunity to lead their best life for no reason other than that it is their right as a human being.

We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them. 🙂

I would love to have the opportunity to have a conversation with Sir Patrick Stewart. I have been strongly attached to Star Trek since the first episode of the original series. What I always found compelling about the early series, especially The Next Generation, (TNG) was the outstanding storytelling and character-driven narratives. Of all the captains, Sir Patrick’s Jean- Luc Picard, is my favorite. I don’t want to meet Sir Patrick to say, “You’re the best,” however.

I would like to discuss a particular story line with him.

One of the most dramatic story arcs in TNG involves Captain Picard being pressed into service by the Borg and, of course, finally being restored to the Enterprise. As part of his healing, he visits earth and spends time with his brother, his nephew and his sister-in-law. It is a very emotionally loaded and finely acted episode. In the first movie in which the Next Generation cast appears, Star Trek Generations, we learn that Picard’s family has died in a fire. I was devastated. Thirty years later, I still mourn them.

My husband regularly reminds me that none of these are not real people. However, the power of great storytelling is that the emotional impact of events and characters transcends the concept of reality. Great characters and great stories reach our hearts and resonate in ways that bypass rationality. In my novels, I strive to create characters and situations that will reach readers in this way.

I believe that an author has a responsibility to readers. What we write can heal, change lives, open up new worlds of possibility or create damage. Killing off Jean-Luc’s family hurt me. I suspect I’m not the only Star Trek fan who feels this way. I would love to discuss this story line and creative decision with Sir Patrick and also to talk about his own feelings of playing Jean-Luc, who must deal with the death of his only family.

How can our readers further follow your work online?

Readers can discover more about my work and stories at my website — The Regency World of Nola Saint James — http://nolasaintjames.com My new book, Anarchy at Almacks is available on Amazon and Barnes&Noble.com. I can also be followed on Facebook and Instagram.

Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!

About the Interviewer: Wanda Malhotra is a wellness entrepreneur, lifestyle journalist, and the CEO of Crunchy Mama Box, a mission-driven platform promoting conscious living. CMB empowers individuals with educational resources and vetted products to help them make informed choices. Passionate about social causes like environmental preservation and animal welfare, Wanda writes about clean beauty, wellness, nutrition, social impact and sustainability, simplifying wellness with curated resources. Join Wanda and the Crunchy Mama Box community in embracing a healthier, more sustainable lifestyle at CrunchyMamaBox.com.

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