Understanding Tu B’Av  — The Jewish Valentine’s Day

Sundown, Sunday August 18 — Evening, Monday, August 19, 2024

Tu B’Av  (too b’av) — the fifteenth of the Jewish month of Av — is often referred to as Jewish Valentine’s Day. It is an ancient festival, first mentioned in Jewish writings called the Mishna. The Mishna is a collection of Jewish laws and customs based on the Hebrew Bible. It was first published in 200 C.E. Tu B’Av is considered a minor festival in Judaism.

Here are some key facts:

  • Like many Jewish festivals, Tu B’Av has an agricultural basis. In ancient times, the 15th of Av marked the beginning of the grape harvest in Israel. The 10th of Tishrei — the observance of Yom Kippur (The Day of Repentance) — marked the end of the harvest. Because of this, the two holidays were linked.
  • On both Tu B’Av and Yom Kippur, young women of marriageable age would dress in white and dance in the vineyards. They would be joined by young men of marriageable age, also dressed in white. Both holidays were seen as joyous days when marriages could be arranged.
  • Tu B’Av falls in the middle of a lunar month. Thus, it is a “full moon” holiday. In ancient times, a full moon was believed to enhance romance, love and fertility.
  • In ancient times, women and men would dance in the fields as a way of praying for the fertility of the land and a successful harvest. In some societies, they did more than dance! Men and women actually having sex on the land was seen as a way to demonstrate to the gods the community’s wish for fertility — for the land and for the people. This type of ritual — called sympathetic magic — was an important part of the development of religion and is reflected in many religious rituals in various religions even in modern times.
  • As the world-wide Jewish community became urbanized, the festival of Tu B’Av ceased to be observed. However, since the founding of the State of Israel, it has been undergoing a renewal, not only in Israel, but in Jewish communities throughout the world.
  • Today, Tu B’Av is celebrated with gifts of flowers, with the exchange of cards, with sharing romantic dinners, celebrating with friends and with festivals of singing and dancing. The tradition of wearing white on Tu B’Av is also widely observed. Tu B’Av has long been considered a good date for a wedding.
  • Tu B’Av is celebrated by religious and secular Israelis and Jews in the Diaspora. Like Valentine’s Day, it is a secular rather than a religious holiday.
  • The appropriate greeting for a friend is Ketiva v’hatima tova, (May you be written and sealed for good.) This is one of the many blessings exchanged for Rosh Hashanah — the Jewish New Year. Tu B’Av is the holiday on which friends begin to offer blessings for the New Year. An alternate blessing is Chag Sameach (Happy holiday.)
  • The celebration of Tu B’Av does not have to be restricted to people who are Jewish. Love is for everyone. Anyone who wishes to observe Tu B’Av in a meaningful way might do the following:
  • Make a special outreach to friends and relatives to tell them that you love and appreciate them.
  • Give a donation to an organization that works to improve the lives of people, animals or the environment.
  • Volunteer for a community organization.
  • Read a romance novel with a loved one.
  • Get together with friends to discuss a romance novel. Anarchy at Almacks: A Story of Love at First Sight by Nola Saint James, is a very enjoyable Regency-era romance.